Waves of Hope

By Jackie Lloyd

 

The pale moon could only be partially seen behind the dark, ominous clouds of the October evening. The black waters of the Mersey were pounding against the promenade wall, sending cascades of frothy white water across the pavement. A young couple could be heard laughing as they jumped to the side to avoid getting wet.

Joan looked in their direction, a tear in her eye and longing in her heart. She pulled her coat tighter around her shoulders and tucked loose wisps of her dark curly hair into her bright red beret. 

Joan brought her attention back to the river and stuffed her cold hands into her pockets. She immediately felt the envelope containing a letter from Harry.

Once again her eyes filled with tears and she turned around and slowly, with a heavy gait, made her way home.

“Come here by the fire love, you look perished,” said Betty as she moved to the stove to put the kettle on to boil. “You been on the prom again?”

“I know Mum; I just can’t help myself,” replied Joan as she finally succumbed to the overwhelming sadness in her heart. She couldn’t bear the thought that her beloved husband, Harry, might not return and she wept like a baby in her Mum’s arms.

***

Harry stood on the deck of the merchant ship he had served on since the outbreak of the war. They had been lucky, so far, despite the constant threat from the German U-boats as they tried to stop supplies from reaching those desperately in need.

As he looked out to sea, he put his hand in his pocket and felt the letter that he’d received from Joan a few weeks earlier.

She sounded well and seemed to be coping but he longed to be able to hold her and protect her from danger. He knew that she was being brave for him.

His thoughts were suddenly broken as the alarm sounded and he had to rush back to his station and prepare for an attack.

***

As the days and weeks went by Joan tried her best to keep busy and push any dark thoughts from her mind.

She knew that she had to stay positive and keep herself healthy in order to look after her Mum and indeed herself. She laid her hand on her ever increasing girth and gently patted the new life that was growing inside her.

The weeks turned into months and Joan had still not had a letter from Harry nor even the dreaded knock on the door with a telegram informing her that he was missing at sea or, worse still, killed in action. Either scenario would have been devastating for her and their baby.                                

The war escalated and there seemed little hope of an end to it any time soon. Her thoughts drifted to the last time she had seen Harry. It was the previous July when he had managed to get a few days shore leave.

They had booked into a small boarding house in New Brighton and spent precious time on their own.

They walked along the beach, holding hands and making plans for the future, not wanting to contemplate the possibility of never seeing each other again, and that this could have been their last time together.

All too soon, Harry had to leave and get back to his ship. Joan, once again, stood on the dock waving to him with a forced smile on her face. She would leave her tears for a private moment when she got home and allow Harry’s last look at her to be a cherished memory.

Christmas came and went without any real celebrations. Everyone was low in mood and, despite trying their hardest to show good spirits, Joan and Betty were glad to start the new year with hopes raised that the war would end soon.

January was particularly cold but February brought some unusually mild weather, lifting Joan’s spirits. She was heavily pregnant now and finding it hard to manage, both physically and emotionally.

Betty was busy knitting a layette and Joan was trying to find a crib. Everything was scarce now and either rationed or over Joan’s budget. Maybe she would just have to use a dressing table drawer like her Mum had used for her. “Times are hard and I will just have to make do,” she said out loud.

***

Harry lay on his bunk and wondered how much more he could take of the incessant attacks, loss of comrades and battling with the relentless cruel conditions in the Atlantic Ocean.

He had not heard from Joan for several months and had been unable to write to her.

Closing his eyes briefly, he saw her beautiful face and those dark curls bouncing on her cheeks as she threw her head back and laughed.

He longed to see her laugh again and hold her in his arms. He drifted off to sleep but was once again brought back to reality when he heard the alarm raised for another U-Boat attack. Would this be the one to finally take him from his beloved Joan?

***

Joan had been for her usual morning walk along the promenade enjoying the mild April sunshine. She walked slowly as the baby was due and she was finding the extra weight and size of her belly quite exhausting.

“Hi love, just in time for a cuppa,” said Betty as she gave her a kiss and ushered her to the chair by the stove. Despite the mild weather, it was still cold in the kitchen as they only lit the fire when it was really needed due to the lack of coal.

Betty busied herself making the tea whilst Joan wriggled about on the chair trying to get comfortable. She had been experiencing pains in her lower back all morning.

Suddenly, there was a loud knock on the front door. Joan jumped up and Betty dropped a cup on the tiled floor sending pieces of pottery in all directions.

“I’ll go love,” Betty said, trying to stay calm when in reality her heart was pounding as she went to the door, dreading who was going to be there. 

Betty rushed back into the kitchen clutching the envelope they both knew would hold a message they didn’t want to hear.

“You read it Mum please,” said Joan in the desperate hope that it would be happier news if she didn’t read it herself. 

Betty opened the envelope and, with hands shaking and her glasses misting with her tears, she read the message inside.

Harry was ‘missing in action’. She put her arms around Joan and said in a quiet, soft voice, “he’s missing love, so there is still hope.”

Joan looked at the words in the telegram and read them over and over  again, tears silently falling down her cheeks and onto her swollen belly. She tried to be positive but all she could think of was Harry was missing at sea. That cruel beast could swallow whole ships mercilessly, let alone the men that had been thrown into the water.

Had he drowned? Was he clinging to debris tossed from the ship as she went down? Or maybe, just maybe, he had been lucky and was picked up by a passing vessel?

Suddenly, a searing pain ripped through her body and she knew that their child would be born soon. She had to put the baby’s safety first. She couldn’t lose them both.

***

It had been almost two months since their son, George, had been born. He was a healthy, happy baby and for that Joan was thankful but she still longed and hoped for good news about Harry.

Every evening she walked along Egremont Promenade, looking across the River Mersey at the ships and boats returning tired, battle weary men home to their loved ones. 

Every day Joan prayed that Harry was safe and, one day soon, her family would be complete.

***

Harry stood on the deck of the ship that was carrying him across the English Channel back home.

He closed his eyes and held the image of Joan in his mind as he had done countless times in the last few months.

The convoy ship crew had managed to pluck several men out of the stormy waters on that fateful night.

He had spent several days semiconscious, unaware of his surroundings but his memory slowly returned and he was able to communicate to his rescuers his desperate need to return home to England.

***

It was a warm late spring morning and Joan held her head up to face the sun shining through the kitchen window.

A strong feeling of mixed emotions welled up inside as she glanced towards the crib, checking that George was asleep and comfortable.

As she turned to put the kettle on she was startled by a sharp knock on the door.

Betty was out shopping, so Joan headed for the door, a sense of dread in the pit of her stomach.

That dread instantly turned to happiness, relief and joy when she saw Harry standing on the path.

She flew into his arms and buried her head in his shoulders, sobbing uncontrollably.

Her prayers had been answered, hope had prevailed and Harry would finally meet his son.

 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Made in Wirral: Free Creative Writing and Arts Workshops for Adult Beginners